Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The last of the Embers

This Flesh
you, O Novice,
just Seared
was already
from last night's horror.
Pray tell, what you shall do
when I am but
a handful of ash?

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

11 reasons why I will never be invited to the Satyamev Jayate Show as 'audience'

Why would Aamir Khan be unhappy, even scared to have ME on the show?

1) I would probably scowl and make loud 'tch-tch' noises every time he makes those bug-eyes and says 'Acchha' WHILE the guest tells him his/her dukhbhari story. Sorry, but uske saath jo hua hain, uske liye 'Achhha' seems so out-of-place!

2) I would probably shout across the hall 'aap iski jagah hote to...?' every time he asks the guest 'aap ko kaise laga jab a) Aapke pati aapko chhod kar chale gaye? b) Aapke bachhe ko maar dala c) Aapke sasural waalon ne aap ke upar acid chhidka? d) Aap ne suicide kiya?'

3) I would probably pinch my nose shut every time he puffs his cheeks and blows out air when he actually wants to sigh.

4) I would probably hand out my Kara wet Tissues (Aloe-Vera) everytime he pokes his own eye to squeeze out the tears hiding at the corner.

5) I would probably sneer and snort loudly every time the audience says 'Kya, educated log yeh sab karte hain?'

6) I would probably stand up and ask 'Aamir - all this is fine, but please can you ask the villain also to come and present his views? The father who made his wife abort a daughter and is now regretting it and has adopted two girl-children? Or the husband who stood up against his parents and said he would marry only if they agreed to a no-dowry marriage?'

7) I would probably stomp my feet in frustration and demand why the faces of the dowry-demanding husband or the abortion-karne-ke-liye-force-karnewale-in-laws are blurred?

8) I would probably, unwittingly tell him that on my FB page and on my blog, I have made some cynical, critical comments of Satyamev Jayate and his 'acting'.

9) I would probably wait till the part where he says 'send SMS and cheques to raise money' and demand of him 'Why can't u donate 3 rs from ur 3 crore rs fees, instead of asking us to do it? U are one of the best actors in the industry, u and ur wife have always genuinely helped out with social-awareness programmes, then why not donate some money here?'

10) I would probably jump up and ask 'Have u written that letter to the Rajasthan CM?'

11) And when the producers call the security guards and order them to bundle me out of the hall, I would probably shout and say 'I have always admired u Aamir, but don't know why, it feels like U are acting here too!'

And then all the people who 'found out' in the month of May 2012, that we have 'female foeticide', 'Child abuse', 'dowry-traditions' going on in our country, will probably understand what I am trying to say and rescue me.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

My conversations with Siri :/

So there I was, absolutely bored and thinking of a way to kill time, when I thought of Siri. Actually I sat on the phone and the 'round' button got pressed activating her. It is a little frustrating because she is a female in this country so I really cannot compare her responses to a male Siri, but it was fun while it lasted.
Here are some screenshots from my phone! 
Please note these are actual questions asked by me :/








Friday, May 11, 2012

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (2011) - Hindi - movie review

(This movie review was written by me last year, but since I had this sudden burst of idea that once my blog was on the public search lists, I must put up the reviews too, I have copied it out here. My FB account is more or less like a blog with all sorts of debates, criticisms, discussions storming it, so it just makes sense for me to paste from there)

Director : Zoya Akhtar

Main cast - Hrithik Roshan, Abhay Deol, Farhan Akhtar

We did think it was apt to watch this movie today. After all wasn't it about friendship? But I came away with mixed reactions. And I won't mince words now.

Firstly on the conversation part it seemed like one of the impromptu road trips (local ones) that I take with select friends in my own way.
Secondly it was too long. I mean how long can you stretch perfectly normal connverstaions between 3 friends?
However, and this is a big However, absolute paisa vasool since u now don't need to go to Spain. Though they did not cover the beach at Barcelona. 

Or did they? Sorry, I was too busy watching Kat....She looks DIVINE and absolutely kissable and thank God they paired Hrithik opposite her. 
(And yes they knew she was absolutely kissable, so they did manage to fit a 2 sec lip-lock scene in). But the director kind of treated Kat n the other Spanish gal, like some use-n-throw pens, which I did not like much, maybe they were there just to up the glam quotient.
There is an Unnecessary scene of Farhan n the Spanish gal in bed, since he is shown having the hots for Kat (who should take diction classes from Sonia Gandhi).
An un-needed angle of Naseerudiin, they could have made it intellectual if they had shown Farhan doing it over the phone (the conversation with his father, I mean).
But But But if u did take away these, then what would be there in the movie? Nothing except it would have looked like u were watching NatGeo, Animal Planet, TLC and Discovery all at once.
And yet, I loved the fact that a Bollywood movie was so classy, so classy in its treatment of the Smooch.
And is there or isn't there a foreign hand in the way they captured the Underwater World? If there isn't, kudos to the guys behind it.
Watch it for the adrenaline-filled, heart-in-your-mouth filming of the Sky-diving, Tomatina and the Bull Fight scenes. All the 3 have been in my Things-to-Do-Before-I-Die list since schooldays, but now I'm absolutely panicking.
And yes the fun banter between the 3, especially their antics is cute n funny. Watch it also for the fact that Hrithik, whom I usually do not prefer either in the face or the body dept., looks like a Greek God.
While, paling in comparision, Abhay looks and talks a little 'girlish', but his dimples will make sure u don't notice it.
Farhan is cute throughout, except when he is crying.

In fact, there is no acting skill required here because the whole gang is just doing what it does everyday - hanging out with each other, verbal parries, witty remarks, fun-banters.
Overall a film commendable, watchable, clean and cute. You might feel just a little bored, especially some time after the interval, but the Bulls will bring back the smileys. 

Though not exactly close to Dil Chahta hain or 3 Idiots, ZNMD is a film U must watch, atleast once, for that 'goodie-goodie' feeling.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Aamir's Satyamev Jayate - FB ranting.


I was quite surprised when , on logging into FB on Sunday evening, I saw quite a few updates from people (who have never bothered to ever comment on anything of importance) looking like this -


       I was aware of the show, but did not see it on TV because we are not subscribed to the Hindi channels here. Anyways, but looking at these reactions, I assumed the show was worth something, and watched the episode on YouTube.  

 20 minutes into the episode and the cynic in me came to the surface. It looked very very much like 'acting' - Aamir's tears, preachings, expressions, sighs, gasps - looked completely unreal. Atleast while grieving women were narrating their painful experiences, he could have, atleast here, been himself. 
       Anyways Satyamev Jayate was talking about an evil that has leeched itself onto the socio-economic flesh of our country, and there is no letting go. However I am not going to delve into the figures and the data and the whole huge discussion about female foeticide.
       Also, the show kind of heaped all the accusation on the in-laws and the husbands. I expected to hear what the latter had to say - Why they think a 'daughter' is a burden and should be 'done away' with. Sometimes, it is also the mothers who do not want a girl-child being born to them. Albeit, I assume these cases will be few, I hope so, Satyamev Jayate should have brought in that angle too.
       The whole issue is why did people start noticing ‘the abominable crime of female foeticide’ only when Aamir came on TV? Hasn’t it been practised in front of our eyes for years? Haven’t all of us heard atleast one instance about this? This is like a downright insult to every activist out there who has been working to stop ‘female foeticide’ for ages and running pillar-to-post trying to educate masses. And yet, atleast Aamir did this, instead of choosing to be some judge or seller of condoms in some retarded reality show or commercial. I was surprised that there was no talk about any of the money being diverted to help these cases? But why should I be? Since when has Bollywood ever bothered much about the ‘ills in the society’?
       Now that he is earning 3crore per episode (??!!), he has usurped Amitabh and the others. Success, finally. So in the end, I’m glad that ‘people’ started ‘FBing’ and ‘Twittering’ just because they cleaned their ears on Sunday evening and heard Aamir on TV!
       In the end, while he unashamedly requested his country men to donate money, never once did he say that he would contribute 2 rupees from his own personal fund. What a shame! Oh but I forgot, he is supposed to be making money, just like any other Bollywood star. Funny, this coming from me, because I LOVE Aamir Khan for his integrity, his movies and his not being 'common'. Unfortunately, this image is starting to crumble.
       All I’m scared of is that now Aamir will be the beacon of a ‘do-good-er’.Like my brother said “Aamir Khan would scoop up dirt off the ground with a spoon and eat it and people will be applauding it as an original display of spatial coordination. He is out to make money, and more pertinently, upstage Amitabh on TV since only Aamir is left out in that medium and everyone is reacting as if female foeticide is a story broken by him.”

       I remember when months ago, I had talked about ‘female foeticide’ on my FB status, I mustered about 2-3 likes and 2 weak comments by friends. Oh, and some comment about whether I hoped to be the next freedom-fighter of India. Or something on those lines. Again, just because I criticised the show, people said (more like, 'FB-ed') that atleast he was doing something instead of just updating my FB and my Blog pages! And to think that while they were leading their mundane boring lives, waiting for their next salary day, their next party, their next gift, their next holiday, I was getting my hands and knees dirty working at animal-rescue shelters, orphanages and the 'teach India' campaign. Surely I have 1% more right than them to discuss about social problems then, if you insist on a barometer for measuring my karma? Well, glad that these people have woken up just because a grotesquely huge amount of money was traded, labelled ‘Social Issues’ and served with a sprinkling of Bollywood and a soaking of Tears.
       I hope we see some solutions to the ‘cases’ discussed here. Some ‘real solutions’. Not the nonsense like the Madhya Pradesh Govt rounding up doctors. Which I am sure, is just an ‘instant maggi-2-min-noodles' reaction to the show. I hope we see ‘people’ (made up of You and Me) not stopping at making noise and Status messages, and instead really doing something, anything about the problems faced by India. Did I just hear u sneer and ask me what ‘I’ am going to do? Since I am a nobody, and since no one is paying me 3 crores to ‘act’ for 60 minutes, I will continue doing my small ‘efforts’ and leave you to either ‘think’ or ‘act’…

Anyway no one is going to invite me to meet Aamir on the SJ set. Why? Because of the reasons mentioned here!!!

       At the end of it all, I really hope 'Satyamev' really 'Jayate'.

       Meanwhile this is what was happening on my FB home page…..

ME Amused at the huge web-crashing reactions Satyamev Jayate is garnering. Though the cynic in me wonders why everyone is reacting as if Female foeticide is a new thing. Hasn't it been going on under our very noses for centuries? Also all those Crores of rupees being pumped into the show and out, makes me cringe. But at least I am glad Aamir, in return for his 3 crores, for every episode (?!?!) is talking abt some social issue instead of choosing to become a judge in those stupid reality shows where all u have to do is say 'mind blowing' and crack cheap jokes.
19 hrs ago. 7 like this.   

SB - Like we needed a showoff perfectionist actor to show us how female kids are killed. This has been advocated in talk shows and articles as long as I can remember!
18 hrs ago · Unlike 1
SB - If he wanted to make any difference socially, he would do this show free of charge!
18 hrs ago · Unlike 2

ME - ‎@SB - Absolutely. Therefore the first 3 minutes or 5 minutes where he gives that bullshit about 'feeling for people', sorry, does not go down my throat. If he really felt so strongly about it, he would do it for free or atleast divert a large amount to helping such women.
17 hrs ago · Like

GS - i think its not the cause they are happy to see our own oprah winfry in a male form :P
17 hrs ago · Unlike 1

RH - Shilpa, its not about knowing. Its about supporting someone who thought of bringing in a change. What happens, nobody knows. People are intolerant these days. Whole nation stood up for Hazare ( I will refrain my opinion about him ;) ) , then why not this team. Everyone of us wants change but none of us will be the change. So I think the team is doing a good job. Atleast trying to. We have to just hope that they do bring in the change :)
16 hrs ago . Unlike 2
RH - I have to agree with Sabeena though :)
16 hrs ago · Like
ME - ‎@RH - Yes, even if it took 5 minutes of Aamir Khan to stir them ;P
5 hrs ago · Like

ME - To all - I'm so happy that while SRK and AB are selling chaddi-baniyan-condoms-gutkha, this one atleast pimped himself for a social issue.....But I just hope people realize and accept that 'AAMIR DID NOT UNCOVER THE CRIME OF FEMALE FOETICIDE ON 6TH MAY 2012'........
5 hrs ago . Unlike 2

UM - He has highlighted an instance which a heightened one. And took his star power to make people realise that its high time to do something about it,.. its amazing how people find ways to make money, AAMIR did well,.. & ya v r glad that atleast this reality show can give some positive to soceity,.. others just suck us emotionally to make money..!!!
2 hrs ago  · Unlike. 1

VN - shilpa madam, i dont agree with you at all, he has done very good job, if you have seen whole episode, he has also given solution and lastly he has given letter to rajasthan cm to act on sting operation created by some social activist...lots of thing were eye opening like most of this abortion is done by educated family, not by poor people...hat's off to aamir khan for his afforts...
17 hrs ago  · Like