Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Blah-Blah and The GasMe

       Just when I thought I had enough of Dhongi Blah-Blah RamDev, I am now being bombarded by Sai Blah-Blah's hidden wealth. (btw, love the word Blah-Blah - coined by my genius of a brother)
       But why is everyone surprised? I don't think it should come as a shock to anyone that all these Swamis have ill-gotten wealth stashed away in their orange underwear. What are these poor Swamis supposed to do. Wear one loincloth and walk around giving free advice? Donate all their wealth to charity? Come on, India has so many children unable to afford food or education or healthcare; so many mothers with no access to healthcare; so many elderly thrown out of their homes; that this wealth cannot cover all their needs. The Great Swami-Babas know this. That their wealth is too little to feed one whole village for the next 100 years. They are knowledgeable. They are wise. That is why we drink the water which has been used to wash their feet. They are holy. We are ready to be made pawns in their political games. While we donate thinking our hard-earned money will be blessed by Baba and sent to some charity, they sit on it and warm it. Until this whole stash of currency notes and gold and silver is so hot that they need to levitate from time to time by making one small tiny hospital promising free healthcare.

       And how dare you say that they are materialistic? Haven't they renounced the materialistic world of India and taken refuge in the Swiss banks? How can you say they are attached to this world?
Also they are God-men. You must never, ever offend a God-man in India. There are thousands of fools behind them who will run amok in hysteria cutting up whoever they think is an opposer of this self-made regime.

       Did you know that Homosexuality is a disease?! What you didn't? How foolish you are, Bhakt! Come here, and do yoga with me. Yoga will cure everything. This corrupt disease called Homosexuality as well as cancer. I also want to say, it can cure AIDS, but not now. I will say it later when the incredulous doctors and scientists, whose brains are miniscule in size compared to my unschooled wise brain, calm down. So come and do Yoga. I have been practising Yoga for years. It is another matter that Yoga cannot 'cure' fasting.

       Looking at all the clowns in saffron robes now, I have decided to change my career.

       I'm now officially Sutli-maiyya. Come and listen to my nonsense. Membership fees only Rs 50,000. Though I cannot do bellydancing like them, I can make Tin jewellery(since i'm still a new-comer in this business) appear from thin air. If I do not get 4 members by tomorrow evening, I will go on indefinite fast.


Sadiya Merchant said...

pranaam maatey!
i hope ur existin followers can avail d benefit of ur gyaan too.

n man seriously m sooo fed up of dis ramdev drama. all news channels look like aastha tv nw. :(
he shud jus do his yoga n meditate to get d bill set rite. m sure he is such an antaryaami dat if he REALLLYYYY focuses hard, it wud b a piece of cake.

Shilpa Nair said...

Lol - Sukhi Raho Vats :) Seriously I now change channels the moment I see anything like that on T.V. I'm now an orange-o-phobic :(

Rachit said...

hehe 50000, quite less:P And yeah truly this baba's and swami's are degrading the name of our rich Indian history where saints like Swami Vivekananda and Aurogobindo have taken birth. And, Send me the requisite form, I'm ready for the nonsense.

Shilpa Nair said...

@Rachit - I'm sorry, I just saw this comment now, after a month...I was absconding from the scene in a woman's dress...or hould it be a man's dress :) Whatever, u got it :)

Shilpa Nair said...

@Rachit - I'm sorry, I just saw this comment now, after a month...I was absconding from the scene in a woman's dress...or hould it be a man's dress :) Whatever, u got it :)