Tuesday, May 22, 2012

11 reasons why I will never be invited to the Satyamev Jayate Show as 'audience'

Why would Aamir Khan be unhappy, even scared to have ME on the show?

1) I would probably scowl and make loud 'tch-tch' noises every time he makes those bug-eyes and says 'Acchha' WHILE the guest tells him his/her dukhbhari story. Sorry, but uske saath jo hua hain, uske liye 'Achhha' seems so out-of-place!

2) I would probably shout across the hall 'aap iski jagah hote to...?' every time he asks the guest 'aap ko kaise laga jab a) Aapke pati aapko chhod kar chale gaye? b) Aapke bachhe ko maar dala c) Aapke sasural waalon ne aap ke upar acid chhidka? d) Aap ne suicide kiya?'

3) I would probably pinch my nose shut every time he puffs his cheeks and blows out air when he actually wants to sigh.

4) I would probably hand out my Kara wet Tissues (Aloe-Vera) everytime he pokes his own eye to squeeze out the tears hiding at the corner.

5) I would probably sneer and snort loudly every time the audience says 'Kya, educated log yeh sab karte hain?'

6) I would probably stand up and ask 'Aamir - all this is fine, but please can you ask the villain also to come and present his views? The father who made his wife abort a daughter and is now regretting it and has adopted two girl-children? Or the husband who stood up against his parents and said he would marry only if they agreed to a no-dowry marriage?'

7) I would probably stomp my feet in frustration and demand why the faces of the dowry-demanding husband or the abortion-karne-ke-liye-force-karnewale-in-laws are blurred?

8) I would probably, unwittingly tell him that on my FB page and on my blog, I have made some cynical, critical comments of Satyamev Jayate and his 'acting'.

9) I would probably wait till the part where he says 'send SMS and cheques to raise money' and demand of him 'Why can't u donate 3 rs from ur 3 crore rs fees, instead of asking us to do it? U are one of the best actors in the industry, u and ur wife have always genuinely helped out with social-awareness programmes, then why not donate some money here?'

10) I would probably jump up and ask 'Have u written that letter to the Rajasthan CM?'

11) And when the producers call the security guards and order them to bundle me out of the hall, I would probably shout and say 'I have always admired u Aamir, but don't know why, it feels like U are acting here too!'

And then all the people who 'found out' in the month of May 2012, that we have 'female foeticide', 'Child abuse', 'dowry-traditions' going on in our country, will probably understand what I am trying to say and rescue me.

8 comments:

Abhyudaya Shrivastava said...

You've taken a bold stand when everyone else in the blogverse is patting Aamir's back or singing accolades to him. I do not necessarily agree with all the points in your entry eg. I do think Aamir is capable of crying that way, it's natural and someone brimming with emotions like him would drop tears at the drop of a hat. Also, the crores that he is earning would be put use to some good things in the future.

BUT I do not like the way he probes the victims. All the victims also seem to be unpitiable. I mean "child abuse" victims usually come on TV with their faces blurred, and with confidence issues; not looking right into the camera, telling that it was Sridevi's movies that gave them strength when they were being abused. I mean I am sorry if I am hurting sentiments, and I do not think that you should feel guilty if you've been abused but, if you are more excited about meeting Aamir Khan than addressing the issue, it kind of defeats the purpose.

Also, all this hype and just a talk-show? What about creativity? How about taking an angle on the same-old problems that no one else has taken?

He says- "sirf hungama khada karna mera maksad nahi". I say- "bhai thoda toh hungama khada karo, warna matlab hi kya hai?"

RAHUL MIGLANI said...

This is an awesome write up Girl !
You have been doing well !!
and you are right in every point!
Loved reading it .

Shilpa Nair said...

@Abhyudaya - Chalo, last checked u do have the right to voice ur opinion in Shilpa-Maata's land :p But somehow his tears still did not look genuine to me :(
I agree with u on abused children being less confident. They often have shifty gazes and are almost always introverted-shy and withdrawn!
And yes, that is what I am asking too! What are the solutions? We have heard the sob-stories, we have seen the victims but is it like chalo kahani khatam, ab so jao?? Atleast in Kiran Bedi's and some other shows on regional channels, they discuss solutions and decide to take a pucca course of action. I was looking forward to hear something like that.

Abhyudaya Shrivastava said...

Absolutely. Doing more heck! doing something is needed. Agreed. and :-) Jai Shilpa-maata ki!!

Shilpa Nair said...

@Rahul - I am glad u keep coming back to my blog :)

mindbugged said...

Have to say some of your points are convincing, But it doesnt dicount the fact that he was planning this for more than a year and very few would have come forward. I have watched only one episode and i heard my mom say ' useless, where are the serials?' but then aamir did that thing when he mopped his eyes with his sleeves and my mom plunged onto the sofa. He's weeping may look superficial but it does carry that feel which connects the audience. And thats what matters at the end of the day

Shilpa Nair said...

@mindbugged - Without offending anyone, and without any personal animosity (haha) - My only points were -
1) After all the buckets of tears, now that he has connected with the 'audience' what is the 'audience' doing about it?

2) Isn't he just another pimp now?

Excuse the bad language but as I mentioned somewhere else, in six decades Idiots like us (u n me included) have not, in spite of the various 'andolans', 'strikes', speeches, done anything about these horrors, to ek TV-show dekhne ke baad kya ghanta karenge?
Serve us anything with a dash of Bollywood through Aamir or SRK types aur hum khaa lenge.

Ash said...

Wow, that's a different line you're taking when the world is patting Aamir on his back for SMJ! But seriously, some of your points make sense. For e.g., ho could donate that Rs. 3 crore which I'm told he gets per episode!