Monday, September 11, 2006

A chain of Random Thoughts....


This article will be updated as and when random thoughts fly into my mind..

The space below the keys of my keyboard is filled with all kinds of eatables..there’s Bhujia sev, Moong dal, even Lahsun sev besides stapler pins, clips, paper bits..for God’s sake..!! I created much noise while trying to pry them out..by tapping the keyboard upside down on my lap and the desk and finally the floor..

Raju is the office boy.But such amazing Discipline he’s got..He wears the same shirt everyday but Always washed and neatly pressed..Why do people of our cadre never look down upon his class and try to learn something..?

I was in Ahmedabad last week and the water is so sweet..I came back on Saturday morning..but I somehow am not able to quench my thirst.I had ice creams, fruit juices, cold water..but my throat still feels parched.

Arjun and I went to Nandi Hills on Saturday afternoon..It was sooooo Beautiful.He then took me for Munnabhai Lage Raho in the night and also got me some icecream..all without me even asking him for anything..!1 I was so happy..!!

One day Arjun and I had gone on a drive and we thought to have some tea. So we came upon this little ramshackle thing ..u know this kitli..and we had tea over there..It was so cute because there were 3 people in the shop all of them craning thei neck upwards to watch some serial on a TV mounted atop a pedestal on the wall.We sat there and any passer by would have seen 5 people looking upwards with a glass of tea in everyone’s hands..!!

I got this Sari in Orange and blue with silver tikkis all over..Its so pretty and I look like a Queen..Sometimes I look at these women in the villages and colors like Orange / Yellow / Pink / White look so pretty in contrast with their dark skin..the colors stand out beautifully !!

Never take anybody for granted. I dread the day when I might suddenly die or someone I know might die suddenly..and all the things I ever wanted to hear or say remain unsaid..

I finally decided yesterday to eat good food and not abuse my body any further.So I went and bought what..? yes you guessed it..pickles!!! I had my dinner at 6:30 pm yesterday and slept at 9:30..today I must buy some fruits to much throughoutthe day in office..

Arjun had got me this keychain from some shop in his ex-office complex.It was of a guy who stands with his arms crossed and looking down at you with furrowed eyebrows..While giving it to me he said ...whenever i am angry at u i will be looking at u like this..with displeasure.." I thought that was an amazing thought..LOL

Preeti is back to dieting.LOL how long i dont know.But her tummy has started showing signs of starvation.

This big monstrous bull ( or co whatever i couldnt check) farted just as I passed by on my kiny. I almost fainted.The odour spreads like fire to a 2 km radius sround the animal. Thankfully my sensitive nosie has never experienced an elephant fart as yet..

Being an Agony Aunt in the Hostel does teach you a lot. On Love, Relationships for eg. I often wonder how these Agony Aunts really survive with so much emotional garbage. I was forced to be an Agony Aunt once and I have hated it ever since. Some people would appreciate being Sob-Story Sponges but I insist take as much Garbage as you can manage.
I am solely responsible for what I have to absorb of other’s weepies. To let down the ones who say I am a great listener, I argue I am not legally bound to listen to excess information.
We give and take so much Excess Informaton that it eats into our brains, spaces , intelligence , energies.

About your Gemini Girlfriend....


Okay..so now I am writing about myself, huh?..u ask,,but heavens nooo..!Though I AM a true Gemini..true to the core of a Gemini that ever was or will be born on this earth, I must point out there is no ‘desire-to-fluff&bluff’ involved here..
Leaving denials aside, I must say the real purpose of writing this stuff on Geminians is because I have quite a few male friends who have Geminians for their girlfriends and I have seen them strive to understand them…
For eg..my Leo friend Umang is at a loss to know what gifts please his girlfriend. Or take the case of Rishikesh who doesn’t understand why his girlfriend is ecstatic one minute and gloomy the next.Or my boyfriend Arjun who gets irritated with my chattering and unpredictability.

I am no Linda Goodman, though I have read all of her stuff..however I fiercely believe in sun signs and their influence on personalities.I have analyzed a lot of human personalities and after some experience with the person, learnt to know exactly what he would be doing next..

Anyways I promised my ‘at-a-loss’ male friends that I would help them by decoding the Gemini mystery and therefore…here goes..
Pls note that this write-up may not have a logical sequence coz I will be writing on things that come to me. Blame it on the Gemini’s love of randomness..LOL

Multitasker: First of all try to understand that the Geminian is a dual faced personality. I wouldn’t be surprised if u ask me to replace dual with multi..a Geminian is a complicated bundle of contradictions..ur Geminian girlfriend will be able to do many things at the same time..eg the secretary you knew from your childhood days who used to take a call, make coffee, tie her hair and adjust her papers was definitely a Geminian.They have an amazing ability to think of ten different things at the same time. For eg sometimes when we are going on a drive I will be thinking of how to make pooris,also how to teach a child the complicated nuances of multiplication tables, and how to tell him to try to keep the newspapers at one place so that they are not lying all over the room, and how to ask him to get his hair cut..as well as where to conduct my mother’s operation, or what to buy this weekend
This , call it talent, often will surprise you at their dexterity. but then how many girlfriends did u know of who were that fast and equally efficient with their minds and hands.

Recognize her moods: Your Geminian girlfriend is never a complete woman or a child rather she is a mix of the two. When you kiss her she will be the most sensuous woman you ever held in ur arms and when u tickle her she is a most adorable child. She will pout when she does not get what she wants and will sulk or even cry when you are not looking. Sadness descends upon her if you refuse to buy her a flower that she sees on the road or if you deny taking her to the place where you first met or buy a particular kind of chocolate which she wants immediately.
Now what is important here is the timing…she is wise enough to understand that some things she can’t get when she wants. However when u present them to her when she is least expecting it, the joy on her face is unmatched. for eg my boyfriend will usually buy me simple things such a cute keychain he saw somewhere or a packet of gems when he’s gone to buy food for us..and I must admit that gesture of his makes me love him much more. To a Gemini girl it is not the price of the thing that matters but the idea that her bf cared enough to remember what she wanted and bought it for her.
She might ask you to take here to certain places and you might not be in the mood to drive or whatever. but if u do take her the next weekend she will shriek with excitement. Like this weekend Arjun took me to some place I had been wanting to go for such an impossibly long time..!it was one of the best trips we made..

Give her the attention: Now about people under this sun sign be attention-seekers is s little true. but who would not want to attend to a girl who is mischievous, cute, charming as hell, sexy, irritating, constant chatterbox, intelligent at the same time? When you are watching TV, this girl, if she feels ignored, will make a lot of noise in the other room with the newspapers or plastic covers or prance around in front of you to grab ur attention.The solution is to throw in a question or sentence from time to time so that she knows you have her on ur mind.It could be something simple as “what are u doing honey?” or ‘are u aslepp?” hearing which she will come bounding out to tell u what she has been thinking of doing..after the explanation, she will leave you to go back to watching TV in peace.

Talk to her: Talking about chattering, this girl loves to talk and talk and sometimes falls asleep when she has been talking too long.it doesn’t matter to me whether someone is listening to me or not. At certain times, especially when Arjun is driving, I sing songs or nursery rhymes, clap my hands, do a little jig, point out hills and mountains and cows and dogs to my bf who does not even know what I am chattering away..LOL..and finally when I fall asleep coz my mouth is hurting with all that chattering, I know he is thinking ‘thank god she’s dead..” lol..When u are tired of listening to her chatter..u must never say ‘shut up’..coz it will ruffle her delicate heart and make her gloomy..just say she looks beautiful when she is silent than when she talks..she will bask in the compliment and shut up to ur satisfaction.

Understand her way of loving: This girl will go to any lengths to show her love for the man in her life. Most of them are diehard romantics so the best way to make this woman happy if to shower her with flowers and soft toys and such feminine things. She is the kind of woman who will suddenly decide to give you flowers at 2 in the night and therefore will walk at 11 in the night to the flower shop and buy flowers for you. Even if u don’t like flowers u must accept them because if you deny them it will break her heart.Though she might not show it she will never again buy anything for you without asking you..this means you will never get a surprise gift from her ever.

Sex: A Gemini girl is one of the best performers in bed when it comes to satisfying her lover. The multi faceted nature if this girl will ensure that she is a different girl every night. You don’t need to keep a harem !! She is your one-woman-harem.She will be able to fulfill all your fantasies provided you give her what she wants. Her imagination could be a threat to you so you must keep up with her expectations of firsthand royal love-making techniques. or she will get bored soon. One ability that marks them is their power to shut off a part of their mind one at a time.for eg if u dislike her eyes, she will condition her mind to deem that the eyes do not exist and she will never refer to that part ever. But her power of imagination might go to a length where she fantasizes of a lover who likes her eyes and therefore in bed she will not connect to you 100%.This is true for some of my Gemini friends , male and female alike..

What turns them on: Intellect, intelligent conversation, love letters, cards, flowers. A Gemini girl gets turned on by the fact that her man can talk to her endlessly about anything on earth and form meaningful conversation. She will never feel connected to a man who does not bother to smother her with his word of love and affection. Though she will be with you part of her will sever itself from you.

Things she likes: She is the best companion for all the activities you like.Whether its fishing or camping or deciding to go to the neighbouring state at 4 in the morning, this woman will share your enthusiasm with all the excitement of a 5 yr old.

Her joie de vivre and fantastic company will remain etched in your minds after you have broken up and moved on.None of your other girlfriends will ever equal her cherubic personality and I know a lot of guys who actually miss their Gemini girlfriends long after they are gone…

Crossroads


Hi..I am a 23 yr old gal from Bangalore, a product of the cultural crossover in India, the crossover that sometimes nips the buds that are born rather than nurture them..
Born in the South, brought up in the North, fed myself on Western ideas but still tied to the roots that hold me to the ground..not because I cannot cut myself away from them , but because if I did so ,assuming I have the courage to, I would not be able to handle it..I write about the present, the today of my life,since maybe outpouring my feelings on paper will help quiten the demons that threaten to devour my mind..
I came to this beautiful city last year, and fell in love with a man who saw me on my morning walks in the park…never realizing when I did so..He stared at me in the park, stared at the movement of my body when I passed him…His eyes bore into my mind, my heart, my soul, and even when I was trying to find a relationship that would dullen the pangs of my loneliness, his image seared my soul thru’ the nites, thru’ the day.
He made a sick excuse of wanting to get a PG for his female friend,tracked my office timings, noted my vehicle number and finally pretended to give an interview at a place near my office on the day my vehicle was unavailable and when I was looking for an auto..I pretended to believe him and he offered to drop me on his friend’s(who was sitting in the garden pretending he didn’t know anything) bike..anyways, I accepted and when he dropped me at my office, asked for my number..spelt it out to him..and he was clever enuf to save it after I went..
The first nite he called me, I was having dinner and he called me ‘da’ in that typical quaint Bangalorean lingo..and I was amused
I went out with him for dinner (to a B-grade eatery in my spags and sexy long skirt!!) and he caught hold of my hand when I crossed the road, though it was unintentional I would like to believe..
I don’t remember my initial conversations with my admirer but I know that he stared at me too much, and I always looked away as much as I could..the first time we went to a pub, he could see all the way down the front of my top (now he says to me, I was so proud to show off such a beautiful gal) but never for a moment did his hand touch me….the second time we went out, I sat close to him, coz it was so nice talking to someone so mature, so focused..I was so drawn to this man…we talked about nothing and everything, we sat close with his arms around my waist,and my head on his shoulder and I felt reassured to be touched like that..
The next time, we had no plans in particular of going out, but I wanted to dance, and was dressed accordingly, and he was forced to take me to the discotheque, and we got drunk,.and I danced crazy(he says I dance like Shakira..) and we kissed…
Now the confusion here is who kissed the other first..he claims it was me since I was drunk..and I vehemently oppose this even now…however I was so drunk, I wanted to go to Nandi hills and not home, and he drove to the hills, asking for directions, and we slept in each other’s arms in the backseat..and he took me in his arms all nite long, while I drifted in and out of Sleepworld..
And since then, I looked forward to meeting him and speaking to him, oftener..…
Anyways after going out for 3 times in 5 months, I gave up myself to the charms of my ‘Stalker in the park” and we were going around as soon as we had met…
Since then, he rented a room in a beautiful house, and we changed our companies..
After nine months of love, I made the mistake of saying yes to a guy whom my parents had seen last month..(I was carried away by the presence of so many people in the room)..
I realized I loved my Stalker, and spoke to him, and both of us were shattered.
In one week we swung from maddening despair to extreme anger and I fought against my family but was emotionally blackmailed onto accepting the guy.His parents came and saw me and talked to me and said he needed time…I said I cannot go back on my words, since the commitments have gone out..I thought he would be ready to die for me if I asked, if he loved me seriously…he said he had never thought of marriage which hurt me very much then..(and I admit that was alright since we had been going around for only 10 months)..
We took a break but every single nite stayed up messaging all thru’ where we swore our love, spewed venom, cried and made love.
After three weeks where he went home, and came back, things limped back to normal.I tried to look at the positive things in the ‘Arranged marriage guy’ in a positive way but failed miserably..His parents called me often but I kind of felt suffocated. I was not mentally prepared for marriage and I did not know this guy at all, which made things worse. I was not at all compatible with him. I felt smothered…coz I had no feelings for him and it was difficult to pretend to love somebody when there is no attraction.
I spent three nites with my boyfriend, and realized that I cannot love anyone else..i can be only his..he branded my heart, my body, my soul with his love, with his touch and I feel nothing for another man..I sent a message to my would be fiancé saying I did not want this marriage.
There are times when my love and I fight, and I cry and he withdraws into his shell. Some fights are terrible..
I know there is a crack in the glass…but I know that it can be glued and only time will heal the wound, since I never for even a moment, think of any other man except him..and I love him truly and so does he..
Its upto me now to make him realize that I could make him so happy, if he only said to me that he is with me..I could give up everything for him, everything for his sake, if he wished me to, and I would be so happy, if I spoke to him only once a day..only once..I would live on that alone..!
I cancelled my marriage...I called it off..I can never be any other man's possession except my boyfriend's..somethimes I think I will go mad.
I woke up this morning and meditated..I started seeing the jumbled up jigsaw pieces of my life begin to form a definite pattern and talked to God, whom I never believed in.
I am in charge of my own life, and no one in this world will share my burdens I believe...however God tests us thru' Love, I would like to believe and every moment of a relationship teaches you something new..every rough patch makes you emerge stronger..I still love him, with all my heart...and I feel freer : free like the clouds that tease the mountain tops, like the river that makes its own course, like the butterflies that are seldom caught with bare hands.. I feel free coz his love releases me..One thought of him makes me smile, one nite with him makes me soar, one touch of his, one kiss of his, releases me from my bondage..I can be myself with him, he knows my bad side, he has seen me when I wake up in the mornings with messed up hair and no cream on my face, and he still loves me.For him, I am more beautiful than any model or actress, he says.
I guess life shows u a number of paths, some of them lead to squalor and some to rainbows, its upto us to follow the path that destiny most often chooses for us and guides us thru’ intuition..I have loved truly and completely, and I have changed and learnt a lot of things coz of my relationship with this man..
I often like to quote from a philosopher’s book - ”Love is like a poppy by the roadside, U pass by in ur car , see the poppy and exclaim ’How Beautiful!’ – To the poppy nothing has happened, but to u yes, you suddenly saw that beauty in the wilderness..and u move on with a smile on ur face..”
I dream of a life with my own house , and a man to hold me, and babies all over the place..like the typical feminine creature that I can be sometimes, when I am not in my tomboyish moods..but I also know that dreams can only be realized when they are rooted to reality and practicality..otherwise they are shattered and one gets disillusioned..
Such is life then, and at this point in my life, I leave my fate to God and move on with a lil hope and a lil prayer , I need them if I want to be with the man I love more than my life..

Friday, September 08, 2006

On Blogging & Bloggers..

I have been following blogs for quite some time now, thereby having come across various kinds of them. Quite a few of them actually do not still know what a blog is supposed to be. Recently there was an article in the Bangalore times about how people harp on personal stuff on blogspace and how many actually are interested in reading about others personal lives. But then that exactly is what a blog can be about..without the blogger being accused of self-centredness.Th dictionary will define a blog as a space where you write what you want and NOT what a reader may like to read. Therefore it is completely your space to etch on. However the success of a blog depends on how many people like to read to it and how many come back for more of your postings. It is supposed to totally disregard the reader’s opinions unless the comments lead to a constructive debate or argument or an analysis of the literary forms.
A while ago I visited a blogsite by some Indian female wherein she writes essays about democracy and the like..now while I thought here is somebody who thinks of national level issues, I had a feeling I had read it somewhere before…and after some ‘going back into mind’ exercises I remembered that the articles was actually taken from a newspaper..!!This is cheap because though a blogger is not barred from pasting other’s articles, the blogger should have the humility to also mention the reference.eg..sometimes I do come across a poem or article which I feel must be put up in a place where more people can read about it, so I definitely post it on my blogspace..however I never forget to mention the author/poet/work.
In fact I would go to the length of saying that I would prefer to read someone who is blogging about their daily mundane activities rather than someone who is harping on classroom essays..!
Nobody wants to read about essays on the nation's constitution and democracy unless it is quite thought provoking. The new class of bloggers wants something that, when read, will churn their minds into action.
A blog-when you read it must encapsulate the reader into believing that he also follows the same thought process. A write-up about a personal issue must be like watching a movie..(this was said by a complete stranger who read my first blog)…Also the kind of grammar and language that I often come across in most of the blogs makes u want to run away pitying the blogger who actually has a good idea for a write-up but lacks the literary expertise or flow to fabricate it into a tapestry.
Also one must never use a blog for practicing your literary skills because then most people have the impression that the work is surely a copy.
Some people write a blog to let others know that they can write in English, which again clashes with the idea of the emergence of the blog.
I have complete strangers writing to me asking why I have taken off my articles because they are amazingly well written..also readers offering constructive criticisms of my form & continuity.
Ahh..this reminds me a blog is also a place where u can boast about yourself as much as u like. LOL
Now on second thoughts this statement of mine might also give u excuses to write about democracy and such crap of course stolen from newspapers…but then how many people actually come back to read your blog will show u the way..LOL
Happy Blogging..!
*btw..the stuff above is targetted at Indian Bloggers..and you know why..*